There's only one F'in Ofsted


There's only one F'in Ofsted,

But that's quite enough for us.

If there's no F'in lesson plan,

There's one hell of an F'in fuss.


There's an F'in form to fill in,

For everything that's said.

There'll be no F'in future,

If that fails to please the Head.


Sounds like one F'in photocopier

Has died from overheat.

There's no F'in chance at all

To keep the worksheets neat.


There's no F'in inspector

When your lesson is first rate,

And there's no F'in good excuse

To explain why you were late.


There should be an F'in handbook

For everything to do.

Tell the R.I. you left it

For light reading in the loo.


There's no F'in parking space,

For half the F'in staff,

"RESERVED" for F'in Ofsted

Who have the last F'in larf.


There's no F'in spiritual,

Or cultural education.

No F'in equality,

But much in differentiation.


There's only one F'in Ofsted,

With its "Education Speak".

Thank God there's an F'in Friday

To end the F'in week.